Dear first time mom with a newborn,
I see you. I know you’re rocking that dry shampoo and living that legging life. I know you’re sleep deprived, hungry, and hormonal.
You might be rocking your baby, desperately praying that he’ll go to sleep.
You might be reading this while you try to stay awake to make it through a midnight baby feeding.
Maybe your husband has gone back to work and the train of meals has ended, and you’re sitting home alone with your baby and wondering what you’re supposed to do with yourself. You have so much to do, caring for another life, and yet it feels profoundly lonely and maybe even a little boring.
I see you.
I’ve been there.
Here are some things you need to hear right now:
1. This will not last forever.
Your body will work again. You will sleep again. Your life will not revolve around baby feedings forever. You will be able to get out of the house alone again. You will have time for friendships again.
2. You’re going to be okay.
How you’re feeling RIGHT NOW says absolutely nothing about your skills as a mom. It says everything about your hormones, level of sleep deprivation, and the fact that you’ve just had a major life change. You ran a marathon and didn’t even get to rest before jumping into being totally responsible for another human.
You’re going to get the hang of this. This is a HUGE life transition and you’re still adjusting! Give yourself all kinds of grace! One day at a time – you’re going to make it.
3. It gets more fun than this.
Newborns are cute and fun to cuddle, but when it comes down to it, they’re a lot of work and there’s not a ton of reward yet. They don’t smile at you. They don’t coo at you. They don’t giggle when you come in a room. They don’t hug you back yet.
But you know what? They will.
The newborn stage is hard and each day can feel like an eternity, but it goes by so fast. I know it doesn’t feel like it right now, but trust me, it does.
In just a few months they start to interact with you. To smile. To play. It just gets to be more and more fun.
And if your baby is exceptionally fussy, you need to know this more than ever. IT WILL GET BETTER. It will not be forever. For more tips on coping with fussy babies see this post about coping with colic and this one about bonding with your fussy baby.
Right now, embrace the fact that they sleep a lot. They can be put down in a bouncy or swing and they won’t move. They snuggle up to you and don’t squirm to get away. Those are the nice things about this season. You will miss those things one day.
Each season of parenting has its blessings and its challenges. Keep your eyes open and soak up all the blessings of each season, and know that the challenges you’re facing today are temporary.
4. YOU CAN DO THIS.
You have what it takes. You are going to rock this mom thing. Motherhood will stretch and grow you like you wouldn’t believe. Embrace it. You have it in you!
Being a first time mom is hard! It’s a season where you’re running low on sleep and full of self-doubt. But hang in there! You can do this!
If you’re a first time mom, chances are there are people in your life who want to support you, but don’t know exactly what you need. Download this free New Mom Support Network Checklist to let them know what you need!